Remember you're likely not impermeable to insult, so ensure you have supports as well to debrief any negative feedback you receive. But think about how you'd feel if your BF or GF did that to you — and what your friends would say about that person's character! I have a really hard time knowing people don't like me, but it's unrealistic to expect that an ex is going to just let a breakup slide off their back and switch to being buds with you. Start by mentioning something you like or value about the other person. Most people know this phenomenon intimately. It means you care.
Changing your mind or your feelings about the other person is another.
But I disagree, and I think one of the reasons we have so many "phase-outs" is because heartbreakers believe they should probably have the face-to-face conversation but can't tolerate what they might feel if they do. Print Send to a Friend. Give the person space. Take time for yourself. Will your BF or GF be surprised?